


Love Me

by Ambie (noonvvraith)



Series: I promise [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, abuse mention, angst with fluff, i found an old work of mine so might as well post it i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 18:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20440823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noonvvraith/pseuds/Ambie
Summary: Deborah's family life is far from ideal and past still seems to haunt her. Luckily, she has John to comfort her.





	Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place way before their marriage and the events of the game, while Deborah studies at a university back in Atlanta.

She was on his mind again. Always present, day or night, haunting his thoughts. He would call it infuriating, if he could - he certainly wanted to. No one captivated him as much as the young woman, it was almost ironical how she managed to wrap him around her finger so easily. Was she different, or was it because she was the only one who knew her way around him? Maybe both. Either way, she was in his head so deep he couldn’t help it, even if he wanted. And he didn’t want to let her go. There was someone accepting him for the first time in ages, and John was determined to hold on to her as long as he could. She was _his_ and now he finally understood what happiness felt like. 

He groaned, and shifted in his couch, looking for his phone. She was running late and didn’t answer his texts for hours. He furrowed his brows like an annoyed child looking for his daily dose of affection, only to be turned down. Where was she? University was very hard on her, sure, but it was late evening already. Still, no words from her. He wondered whether he should text her for the umpteenth time, or just swallow his pride and call her already. A thought crossed his mind. Maybe something happened to her? That would be the only valid reason for ignoring _him _of all people, yes, all while he was sitting around being… was he really worried?

John let out a sigh, and took the phone from the table, dialing up a number. He waited for a while when a familiar voice came from the other side.

_“This is Debbie Fawkes, currently busy petting cats. Leave me a message if you really want, but like, please ask yourself if it’s textable first, thank you a lot, have a great day or something, bye bye!”_

He growled with irritation. Of course, what else was he expecting?

“_Kitten~_” He said smoothly after hearing a signal of the all too-familiar peep from the phone. “I’m waiting for you. I’m…” he swallowed, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “I’m worried. Please, call me as soon as you can.”

* * *

She didn’t know where exactly she was going. Not that she cared. The rain soaked her clothes from head to toe, shoes filled with water as she accidentally ran right into a big puddle. Everything was a fuzz. She remembered slamming the door of her apartment behind her, roughly checking if she had her wallet and keys on her, unsure whether her phone was still in her pocket or not. She recalled running to the main street, all the neon lights shining through the night sky. 

It was an unusual behavior for her, someone so soft, quiet and kind, and yet…

The university was hard on her. She was falling behind, her marks were less than pitiful and her self-assured classmates didn’t exactly help the situation. She was stressed, full of doubt and existential dread, her best friend gave up on her and as if that wasn’t enough, she fought with her father. _Again_.

It was the last straw. Hoping he would finally leave her life was all too good, despite all the court proceedings. Or maybe because of it. It was quite some time since her parents’ divorce and Debbie’s and her mother’s life improved dramatically. She couldn’t foreseen that winning the last of the numerous court proceedings would send him into such a rage.

“It’s all your fault!” She remembered him shouting after knocking at her door drunk, such a painfully familiar picture following her through her childhood days. It was always the same: That it was all her fault their family was broken. That he only ever wanted a loving wife and an obedient daughter. That he gave her a roof over her head and that all she ever did was fail. At life. At everything.

She tried to shook off the all-too fresh memories as she ran, wishing, hoping, that maybe the cold touch of the rain would wash them away as if this way she could escape from all her problems. And there she was, collapsed on a bench, soaked as hell, shaking from the cold. Sure, _cold_, always helps to have something else to blame it on. 

Deborah hugged her knees, the city park around her quiet. No one could see her. She cried, her tears mixing with the rain. She clasped her knees tight, letting the emotions wash over her, until she started breathing slowly again.

She looked around, only now realizing she had no clue where she was. She didn’t know how to get back home, and there was no one around to ask. She panicked, a new-found anxiety washing over her encounter from earlier. 

And then she remembered. Reaching to her back pocket, she found her phone, the screen quickly becoming covered with rain drops. She wiped it on her jeans, and unlocked it, the light of the display shining through the dark. She didn’t pay any attention to the missed calls notifications and immediately dialed up a number.

A smooth voice cracked up from the other side. “There you are. I was…”  
“John, I’m so sorry I didn’t come it’s just... I have no idea where I’m right now, I…” Her mind raced faster than her mouth, and another shiver went through her spine. Damn, it was really cold outside.

“Calm down.” How the hell could he sound so well put-together? “What happened?”

“Father.” She spurred out mindlessly. “He showed at home, he was furious about the court yesterday. We fought and… God, I feel so _awful _right now.”

There was a short silence before he answered, his voice more serious now, with a hint of anger. “Did he hurt you? Did he do _anything_?”

“...No. I’m fine. I just… I was so angry I ran, I had no idea where… I don’t know…”

“Breathe. Describe me where you are. What do you see?”

She blinked. “There’s a park. A fairly big one. I passed the main road on my way here, there was this big-ass building…” She continued to recollect her way, her breath growing more steady as she focused.

“Alright, I think I know where you are. Sit tight, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”

She let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you.”

“Now don’t go anywhere and wait for me babe, okay? I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

He hanged. She hugged her knees again, peering into the dark, watching the road through the trees. Cars went by as she waited, quietly counting the minutes. She was shaking violently now, the cold night air cutting through her wet clothes right to her bones.

After what seemed like an eternity, the sound of tires screeching on the pavement echoed through the silence, a pair of front lights illuminating her face. 

John stepped out, rushing towards her - still huddled on the bench like a child, unmoving, except for the wild shivers running through her spine.

“There you are, I was so worried. Come, get in the car.” He took off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders, sheltering her from the rain at least a bit. “Take my hand.”

She obeyed, letting him lead her towards the vehicle. He opened the door for her and Deb collapsed in the seat, her breath growing more steady as the heating system started humming. She pulled his coat tightly around her - it smelled like home.

John was already at his seat when he put his hands around her, pulling her into his embrace, his palm running through her hair. His voice was shaking despite his well-composed posture. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? You must be freezing.”

“I’m… fine.” She lied, and her grip on his back tightened. “Thank you so much for coming.”

She heard a low chuckle escape from his throat as he stroked her back gently.

“What?”

“I know this is not the right time but… that’s something you could say in an entirely different situation.”

“Hey!” She made a face but smiled and let out the shortest of laughs. “You are unbelievable.”

His face sported a boyish grin. “I _know_, baby. Now, shall we go?” 

She nodded, her thoughts in a more pleasant place, at least for a short moment. She started fumbling with her belt, but her still freezing fingers were too clumsy to get a real grip around it.

John noticed her struggle and smiled softly. “Here, let me do it.”

She let him help her and looked out of the window as they drove, at the pouring rain outside. “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you home, of course.” John watched the road as he steered the wheel. “Unless there is some other place you’d like to go to instead?”

She shook her head.

“Thought as much.” 

They sat in silence, as they drove through the main road, traffic lights illuminating the dark, weeping sky, drops of rain falling down the window. Deb hugged herself, trying to help her get warmer more quickly. 

She shot John a quick look. His gaze was fixed on the road, concentrated, hands firmly on the wheel, shirt with rolled sleeves tucked in his trousers.

“You sure you are okay?” He asked.

“Yeah… at least I’m warmer now.”

He didn’t seem convinced. He took a turn, offering her a quick look. “You make a bad liar, you know.”

She didn’t answer. Wasn’t in a mood for talking, either. All she wanted was to go home, change clothes, and crawl into bed, never to be seen or talked to ever again.

He cleared his throat, his expression growing more serious. “What did he do?”

She shrugged, looking at her soaked shoes. “Same old story. Was angry about the court yesterday. He thinks he’s in the right. Blamed me for what happened… for everything. But he didn’t do anything.” She quickly added.

“Of course.” John murmured, not entirely persuaded. “That man. He better not touch you. Ever. Again. Or I’ll...”

She flinched. As much as she appreciated John being protective of her, it was his fiery temper that sometimes sent worries down her stomach. She knew how to handle it, though.

“It’s okay. Please, don’t worry about it.” She said calmly, laying a palm over his knee. “Now please, I just want to go home and get all of this over with.”

He sighed. “Alright. If that’s what you desire…” He stepped out of the car and opened the door for her, taking her by the hand. They walked the few stairs leading to the front door, and the additional ones that ended in front of her flat. Deb reached for her keys, fumbling with them as she opened the door, stepping inside. 

“I will go change.” She said, noticing the slippery feel of the wet clothing on her skin. She bit her lip and looked at John expectantly. “Will you be staying? I know we were supposed to be at your place today but...”

“Do you want me to?”

He always loved to hear that word, he did. Despite being fully aware she indeed needed him, there was something about how she said it that made it even sweeter.

“Yes.” She breathed out, and he smiled, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Then I will stay.”

She gave him the smallest of smiles, and let him help her with the coat. “I’ll be right back.”

He was alone. Setting himself on the small, cozy sofa, he heard a familiar _‘meow’_ coming from one of the pillows. Soon, a small, fluffy black head peeked out at him, one of the yellow eyes opening lazily, observing him in a lazy fashion.

Ah yes, the cat. Deborah got him as a way to help her feel less lonely in the apartment when John wasn’t around. He reached out and stroked the cat behind his ears, sending him purring. “Hey, Balthazar. How’s life treating you?”

The cat flexed, moving next to John and curling near his legs, one paw set over his knee, as a request for more cuddles.

“I’ll take that as an answer then.” He mused aloud, and continued to scratch the cat behind his ears.

He heard the bathroom doors closing and a shuffle of bare feet on the floor. Deborah walked in, wearing her pajama shorts and an old gray top. She dried her hair and let it loose from her ponytail and it now fell to her shoulders, covering the soft freckles and spots on her skin. Her eyes were red.

“Now, what is that?”

“What is what?”

“Your eyes. You cried.”

She waved his remark away. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked, of course.

“I said you make a bad liar.” He spread his arms, gesturing for her to come closer. “Come here. Sit in my lap.”

She obeyed, straddling him, as he wrapped his arms around her. Balthazar didn’t seem to mind, though he felt a little bit disappointed no one was scratching him now.

“You comfortable?”

She nodded and rested her head in the crook of his neck. “Yeah.”

“Good.” He lifted his hand, running it through her ginger hair, the other arm hugging her tightly around the waist. She fitted so nicely into him, like his missing half. “Now, tell me the truth.”

And just like that, she broke. She sobbed, a first tear falling from her eyes as she tightened her grip around him. “I just… I’m so tired of this.” She let out with a heavy sigh, but her voice broke, and she burst into sobs, wetting his shirt, and immediately feeling guilty about it. She tried to sit up, but he stopped her, pressing her tightly to him. 

“Shh, that’s fine. It’s okay.” John wasn’t very good with words when it came to these situations. But that wasn’t really what Deborah was after, too. She was used to hiding her emotions, out of shame for not being strong enough. But he _knew _her, her _knew _how fragile she could be, despite being so brave about carrying all of her burdens with her. 

“You don’t have to pretend anything in front of me.” He said, as calmly as he could. And then: “I’m here for you.”

She broke to ugly crying then, whimpering under his touch as he stroked her, hugging her tightly, whispering softly to her ear. That he knows how she feels. That he has been there too, still is. That she has nothing to hide from in front of him. That he would do anything for her to make her feel better, she only needs to ask. Because even though he might be at a loss when it came to comforting, he had his own darkness to run from, and he too often wished for someone to guide him in those times. Someone who would take him aside, looked him in the eyes, and said that everything is going to be okay.

“It’s going to be okay.” He said as he brought her face up to him. The words were as empty as it could get, but his intent was genuine. 

She nodded, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ and he hugged her tight, pressing her against him, burying his face in her hair.

“I’m sorry…” She mumbled, and shifted in her seat, but he hugged her even tighter, unsure if she was holding onto him or he onto her at this point.

“Don’t you ever say that.” He whispered. “Don’t feel sorry. Nothing is your fault.”

They sat around like that for a while, surrounded in silence, as rain pounded on the windows. Balthazar stopped purring, giving his owner a questioning look, and then started to gently rub himself over Deb’s leg.

She reached out, stroking him under his chin. She seemed much calmer now, breathing almost normally, her eyelids slowly closing.

“Thank you.” Did she say that, or was it just his imagination? Did he crave her validation that much? Maybe this wasn’t all her doing after all. Maybe it wasn’t because of how she handled him or how she behaved. Maybe it was because she made him feel needed. Maybe she was the voice he always wanted to hear from his childhood.

“Thank you. I’m glad you are here.”

"That’s what I’m here for, sweetheart.” He cupped her chin, lifting her face up so he could look into her eyes and kissed her. Her lips tasted of tears and sadness as she ran her hands through his hair, pulling him closer. He trailed lover to her neck, gently sucking on the skin there, drawing out soft moans from her.

“John.”

“Yes?”

She looked out of the window, gazing through the night. The city lights were dimming and when she squinted hard enough, she could see some of the stars glistening in the sky. She sighed. “Love me.”

“You know I do.”

“Not like that.” She shifted, suddenly pressing herself more into his lap. “I want you to hold me.”

He caught on quick, gently biting her skin, both hands slithering down to her ass, moving her closer. “Hmm.. What else?”

She broke away, so she could press her lips to his cheek, fingers gently stroking his back. “I want you to make love to me. To hold me and make me feel loved.”

“You _are_ loved.” He lifted her up, never as much breaking the kiss while he carried her to the bedroom. He laid her down, crawling over her as she hugged him around his neck.

She gazed into his eyes, the falling rain the only sound in the room except for her voice.

“Show me.”


End file.
